Life in F#m

A stray dog howling in the dark.

Skyward Sword, Mid-Game Review

First: I love the Legend of Zelda series. The only games, to date, that I’ve yet to play are the ones that appear on the CD-i and Zelda II (Which I have, but not gotten around to playing, yet).

I must say that I enjoy this game. The story is amazing. The art style is a nice mix between Twilight Princess and Wind Waker. The story answers questions about previous games and revealed new insight to the Legend of Zelda. The bonus 25th Anniversary CD was pretty damned cool too.

Now that I have that out, I must say, with a clarity unbound and with every fiber of my being: fuck this game. Fuck this stupid, shitty, horrible game. I’m sorry, Nintendo, but what did I do wrong to deserve this thing you wish could be called a game? There has not been a Zelda game, to date, that I have not played from finish to end within the first 3, maybe 4 days of purchasing. Why? Because I bloody loved those games, and shook for them like any addict would. And I could play them for days on end. Why? Because not even Twilight Princess had motion control this bad.
The motion control in this game is shoved so far down your throat that your stomach is finally able to tell what time it is. The sweat on Nintendo’s elbow soothes the sore throat that I have gained in the aggravation that is turning my Wii on to play this game. I hate it so fucking much. I barely it past the first area that I was given a sword because I couldn’t take it. The first dungeon made me rage quit more than once. The first. Bloody. Dungeon. 
You know what other games have made me rage quit? Demon’s Souls. Demon’s Souls because it was bloody hard and to be honest I wasn’t mentally ready to dive into that game. Skyward Sword, on the other hand, is simply mind boggling in its delivery.
Do you like cupcakes? Do you enjoy cupcakes? Here’s the recipe for the Skyward Sword Cupcake: Fuck everything about cupcakes and make a brownie. It’s not what you wanted, sure it’s sweet and all, but it’s just no the same.
I will admit: from a completely new player’s point of view, this is probably a great game. It’s got tons of what the Wii claimed to its fame, it’s rather simple, and it’s the starting point for the Zelda story line. So, there’s that.
Speaking of new gamers, and I apologize because I’m going to type this next section without looking at again, it will be in caps, and it will be mad: FUCK YOU FI, YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT. THERE’S A 100% CHANCE, THAT, GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY I WOULD GIVE YOU 4 BOTTLES AND KILL YOU 5 FUCKING TIMES. AND DO IT AGAIN. AND AGAIN. AND REMIND YOU EVERY TIME YOU REVIVE THAT THERE’S A CHANCE THAT I’M STABBING YOU, THAT CHANCE THAT YOU’LL DIE, AND REMIND YOU THAT YOU’RE DEAD. And that’s off my chest. 

But really: the motion controls in the game have reached a convoluted state that I can not compare with. It’s less a matter of “getting used to it” and more of “I will literally stab someone with this Wii remote it’s so annoying.” And I have given the game a chance; that’s what I was doing before I became frothing at the mouth mad at every time I think about the game.  

More what the shit.

What the shit @goofygoober :|

goofygoober: lanceretuya: No wonder Pau Gasol hasn’t been playing well this season, he’s too busy being Iron Man. You mean Iron Trooper?  But could he actually hit something and not die in a single blast?

goofygoober:

lanceretuya:

No wonder Pau Gasol hasn’t been playing well this season, he’s too busy being Iron Man.

You mean Iron Trooper? 

But could he actually hit something and not die in a single blast?

(Source: sithcamaro)

You want to know how to lose faith in humanity? Shit like this.

I mean, seriously: there are a near infinite amount of things wrong with people like this. Namely their ability to pro-create. I fully support having to pass a child-bearing test upon popping out a child: akin to a driver’s test, but with questions about basic financing, sociology, and morality (such as: “Your child is gay. Disown? Y/N”; a no means you never get to have children).

It would just solve so many problems. 

(via 36974)

We are Animals; the Worst.

I was told, recently, that people are better than animals, as if we’re not animals. Scientifically speaking, we are animals. Animalia, Chordata, Mammalia, Primates, Hominidae, Homini, Homo, Sapien. See that list? It starts with Animalia, animal. We are animals.

And we are the worst of them. Do other animals waste? Hate? Have other animals found the power to destroy the world? Obliterated evolution, planetary biology; and yet brag that somehow we are the greatest creatures to walk this planet?

Termites have better architecture, ants have better labor, better cooling, better biological processes, spiders produce silk that we can never replicate, bees amaze us with their memory, gorillas are stronger, turtles last longer, sharks are more evolved, and cockroaches laugh in our face. The greatest creatures to walk the planet? Please. 
Yes, we have advanced thinking and have grown morals and ethics, governments and societies, advanced emotions and have reached the moon. So what? People loathe thinking, dispute on morals and ethics, and hate their own governments and societies.

We are inefficient, lackluster, bested in any possible category, infectious,  arrogant, and worthless: this planet has lived before us, and will after us. Well, until the sun takes it down or rogue black holes, but still.